Thursday, January 29, 2009

iambic pentameter...well sort of...well not really


I was challenged to write a 14-line rhyming poem in iambic pentameter. What I learned: I hate structure! But here it is:

wholly incomplete, dusty and battered

ripped twice with weak hands, today thrown away

yet the only thing that really mattered

without it his life was in disarray

he once had given to it tender care

but now it lay completely neglected

an untidy heap on the rocking chair

not a hope or prayer of being resurrected

til he had faded for so many sad years

and remembered what he had lost and found

wisdom often comes with much grief and tears

hoping for life the other way around

but still the color of blue stains the wood

while soft breezes offer silent retreat



7 comments:

cafe selavy said...

That's funny. The concept, not the poem.

beatriz said...

great foto! structure.....hmmm...seems to determine content. you are great!

Me said...

What I learned: I hate structure!

Were you surprised by that? I hope not...I wasn't.

A friend and I did an exercise together this week...this is my result...

Planting a Peach Tree

His dark hands were limber and fine
dark hair like the descriptive lines of a woodcut
shadowed the skin on the backs of his fingers
and the back of his hand.

He cupped a peach in his left hand
warmly colored and softly furred
its juice ran down his palm
as his right hand carefully wielded
the paring knife

Three moons were suspended on the horizon
unevenly trimmed ragged nail clippings
on the dirty carpet of night.

I asked him if he would spread lotion
on my back, moonshine always dries my skin.

He stood and I felt the stickiness of his fingers
as he unloosened the buttons on the back of my dress.

The wind riffles my hair
and I pat the dirt around the pit,
stand, touch the top of the stone
and walk away.

Rhonda Prince said...

not surprised...just confirmed my suspicions! Beautiful poem!

Me said...

things like that shouldn't be surprises especially when you get to be our age... ;)

Rhonda Prince said...

ha! I keep discovering things about myself...things I guess I've been in denial about...some good, some bad...but still me! You're never too old to learn!

mau/C said...

Hi, nice blog and interesting pics;
good combination photo-words