Thursday, December 31, 2009


It's New Year's Eve again when my thoughts turn to failures and disappointments of not only the last year but the last decade. Why don't I concentrate on and celebrate the successes?  But instead my mind turns to the dark side...

Which brings me to something I noticed while visiting family during the holidays...and am especially aware of tonight...New Year's Eve, aka Couples Night. If you don't have a date for New Year's Eve is it really a fate worse than death?  In Florida I was keenly aware of the coupling of America.  I watched the care my mother gave my father after 54 years of marriage, met my sister's new beau who spent Christmas with us, marveled at the  lament of a 10-year old girl about boys in her class,  listened to the discussions of other married couples in my family and wondered about the homeless couple huddled together on a bench under an umbrella clinging to each other for warmth...I also went to four movies this vacation and all of them, if not directly about relationships, had some romantic content.  This includes the newest Disney film which had the usual prince/princess conflict to be resolved as well as a cajun firefly who was in love with a star he mistook for another firefly.  It's everywhere! And most of the time I'm okay with that but on New Year's Eve I start to feel the void, question whether I will always be the woman men love but are not in love with and if being just me will ever be enough?
"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved... loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."  - Victor Hugo

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

home for the holidays

Rules for a successful holiday:
1. Get together with the family
2. Relive old times
3. Get out before it blows   (Brian Andreas)

Friday, December 18, 2009

missing the guinea hen

 I have nothing left to give
since the  guinea hen disappeared.
I considered giving the magenta morning sky
 or the flock of geese in v-formation
 but instead I offer the gift of pain
because it is what I know best.
I will sit with you and shed light on
the charm of misery and despair,
that is yours  for a song.
Together we can sing the ballad
that will capture the anguish
and fill your soul with the
exquisite ache.
Then we will weep in somber unison
when the geese take flight
at first light through the pink skies of dawn

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Mickey G

 Mickey G. and me are lovers.
We are kissing under the stars.
His car will not run.
He fears I won’t love him,
so he chooses another.
She is strange and foreign.
Transvestites wearing pearls
crowd into the dimly-lit room.
I scurry away to the boulevard
where every person wears red.
Mikey G finds me there dressed in blue.
He holds me tight and
we float  into morning on a river of
sheets and pillows.