Everyone home from the hospital and we are trying to find a rhythm to our lives. We have home health assistants, hospice nurses, social workers, physical therapists, occupational therapists, etc that we must schedule and open our house to as they make their mandatory visits. Often we are tired and exhausted but every once in awhile there are moments of mercy and grace that swoop in unexpected and refreshing. We are grateful for these moments.
A family dinner recently was spent in laughter as we talked about our day and remembered funny stories from the past. The good feelings hovered in the air around us and we felt hope...at least for a bit...at least there was that.
Friday, June 13, 2014
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
warning: there may be extreme expressions of emotions and sentimentality that some may find offensive. For those who are or know my family you will understand I hope.
After bringing my mother home she wanted to visit dad as it was their anniversary and insisted on taking herself. She came home in tears, overly tired and exhausted. It had been one of his difficult days and nothing she did or said could please him. This journey...this transition will be a perilous adventure for all of us. A friend talked to me before i left about how to handle it all without being engulfed by the emotions. She suggested I hold the space...be there but don't try to 'fix' everything. I am practicing holding the space, pausing, responding not just reacting and, most of all I am practicing breathing and trying to be in the moment.
Later my sister, my mom and I enjoyed a pleasant evening talking and laughing and just being with each other. It was a gift that I will cherish. I have always loved my family but times like these make you realize even more about each of them and yourself. My sister is a beautiful, generous, tender-hearted soul. My mother loving, lion-hearted and brave. Despite the difficulties ahead I love being with them. I am grateful I have the time to be here to help if I can.
I will spend the summer here and we will see...