tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74209894036134704132024-02-07T12:58:06.285-05:00Rhonda's Room"May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house." -George CarlinRhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.comBlogger272125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-75134723779448195472020-09-16T16:04:00.003-04:002020-09-16T16:07:17.711-04:00What happens in the middle of the night on a Thursday when there is no rain<p> <br /><br /><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"> </p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiicpReCaz5X9ZPqiUD8UJ_tucXot9bddKGP6YB9jhJTo8tMkxR0R1oCr0QGQa2Cs9R5eqGZkEiB9HHgACShU7yyZbCuzDwU4-Sf-lPTU5L46pwymxygDiEQOsPWbodruSuQjq3fhIpvV_B/s2048/20200815_112320-01.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiicpReCaz5X9ZPqiUD8UJ_tucXot9bddKGP6YB9jhJTo8tMkxR0R1oCr0QGQa2Cs9R5eqGZkEiB9HHgACShU7yyZbCuzDwU4-Sf-lPTU5L46pwymxygDiEQOsPWbodruSuQjq3fhIpvV_B/w480-h640/20200815_112320-01.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Darkness descends</div><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thoughts flood</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The house creaks</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Memories arise</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Windows rattle</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Voices whisper</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Wind chimes peal</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Fleeting hope surfaces</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Shame and guilt </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Crowd the mind</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Like the streetlight</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Illumines the room</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Feelings flow</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Like an avalanche </p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Of mud and muck</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Blue pills of sleep</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Take over soon</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Dreams of <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Evil and beauty</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">Mingle together</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">To wake still tired</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"> Face it all again<br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">And seek healing</p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">For the many ills</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">That conquer and divide.</p>
Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-36071840494591510232020-07-05T16:14:00.001-04:002020-07-05T16:19:36.580-04:00only serious inquiries need apply<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</a>
</div><div><br></div><div><div>I need a muse</div><div>How do you find a muse</div><div>Or do they find you? </div><div><br></div><div>I have lovers and critics,</div><div>Editors and agents</div><div>But I need a muse.</div><div><br></div><div>Maybe I have a muse </div><div>But he has chosen</div><div>To remain silent</div><div><br></div><div>Hidden somewhere</div><div>Waiting to inspire</div><div>When I am ready</div><div><br></div><div>Pen in hand</div><div>Fingers on keyboard</div><div>I await his arrival</div><div><br></div><div>Eager to begin</div><div>I start without him</div><div>But the words won’t come</div><div><br></div><div>I need the words that create</div><div> a soul cleansing epiphany</div><div>Which only a muse can incite</div><div><br></div><div>I wait in the silent dusk</div><div>All is quiet and still</div><div>I need a muse</div></div><div><br></div>Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-34043488538789132772020-07-04T15:00:00.000-04:002020-07-04T15:00:18.833-04:00day by day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1Ye651rnOBXxna1WiAK-_ErW-l-otDLzOcVhs-ugDBjqhOz7_C5sWCcPu4ST3Fx6hFoauedL9eHy8f3b5yG_7Pwz7RxS5Q-tfkB6aL30vObUAdit9FFFCiZ60gxV0qSYGaRIAjbXyJrU-/s1600/1593884585709569-0.png" width="400">
</a>
</div><div><br></div><div><div>Life is a dark, dense forest</div><div>A formidable place we want to avoid</div><div>Still we tread on through it</div><div>Searching for bliss</div><div>Hoping for redemption.</div><div>Obstacles await us </div><div>Storm clouds loom overhead</div><div>It feels like chaos</div><div>Maybe it is</div><div>Maybe it is just our own voices pleading </div><div>The clouds sigh and release their burden.</div><div>The rain washes away regret</div><div>Lotus flowers bloom in the mud</div><div>Sun shines, birds sing, blue skies</div><div>We head home, renewed, refreshed</div><div>Humming a familiar tune.</div><div>Life is grand </div><div>Tomorrow we enter the forest again.</div><div>An endless cycle of loss and love</div></div><div><br></div>Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-68810641981095002602020-04-28T06:35:00.000-04:002020-04-28T06:35:28.917-04:00flying<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
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Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-36238950361864532592019-04-28T23:13:00.000-04:002019-05-01T09:53:37.119-04:00the perfect day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAcylAiqUbPw6fvAa17wURssM7fjKvCPPzhDCN3eiOJj8MCSmaJEPaGNqrxcUK6ggqmW7keihyphenhyphenDB2DCYpJU_4gQoJEbEHWexoq_alfqdSKsl18rJa06geQ36stu27CDzRacAt8JwhFtKdy/s1600/20190421_161244-01.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1600" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAcylAiqUbPw6fvAa17wURssM7fjKvCPPzhDCN3eiOJj8MCSmaJEPaGNqrxcUK6ggqmW7keihyphenhyphenDB2DCYpJU_4gQoJEbEHWexoq_alfqdSKsl18rJa06geQ36stu27CDzRacAt8JwhFtKdy/s640/20190421_161244-01.jpeg" width="640"></a></div>
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mso-para-margin-left:0in;
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Letting it soak into my skin and soul.</div>
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The gentle breeze rustled through the leaves,</div>
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Whispering its wind song in my ears.</div>
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The chimes joined in the glorious chorus</div>
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Of songbirds, </div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">Creating a resplendent symphony. </div>
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<br></div>
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And I thought, “This is it.” </div>
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Life has been mended and is whole again.</div>
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Certainly now I can find peace of mind.</div>
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I will prudently choose the proper path this time.</div>
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Slipped into view with a discordant and disagreeable plop.</div>
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It was already too late.</div>
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Destroying the short-lived peace I had enjoyed.</div>
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Cue the woe and misery that blocks the sun </div>
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<br></div>
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The onslaught continues.</div>
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Like an old movie I’ve seen before</div>
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I fear it will take more than a perfect day</div>
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To defeat the despair and anguish. </div>
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Something, in whatever form, to clear the fog and set me free.</div>
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Now I am waiting to be rescued from the relentless attacks,</div>
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Hoping my knight in shining armor appears soon. </div>
Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-6643844335161126762019-02-03T22:32:00.001-05:002019-02-03T22:37:43.894-05:00stuck<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeKqmrL734AtOxAY3uw5Z46mrgwp6aMSBGdTYA0Ebyw1Ie0tw-VueDziDkX7TBGEqSQueDdjUiNbrgtAkGPuzF7tg3VwK9glNu2q1nIeecnZwAB4EEyWtqftLp9S4DQLUZIT0Bhr7IoEyM/s1600/FB_IMG_1540166780032.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1152" data-original-width="1600" height="460" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeKqmrL734AtOxAY3uw5Z46mrgwp6aMSBGdTYA0Ebyw1Ie0tw-VueDziDkX7TBGEqSQueDdjUiNbrgtAkGPuzF7tg3VwK9glNu2q1nIeecnZwAB4EEyWtqftLp9S4DQLUZIT0Bhr7IoEyM/s640/FB_IMG_1540166780032.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My world continues to shrink. Since becoming ill I’ve lost
my health, of course, my job, my </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
friends…the outside world seems a dangerous,
scary place so I stay in mostly. Now I have pretty much lost the ability to eat.
My life revolves around pain, pills, bathrooms, doctors and Amazon prime. I am
rarely motivated to do much else. The last few weeks have been a blur, can’t
seem to focus on anything. I distract myself with games and movies on my phone
and then feel ashamed for not doing more…. a vicious
cycle.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I do have people that care. They help and
support me always. But the anger and resentment I feel about this ailment have
been growing. I feel I am continually analyzing, questioning, and even
complaining or lamenting about it all. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
want to accept that this is the way things are for the moment and may continue like
this for awhile, maybe the rest of my life. I want to be at peace with it all.
I want to be the caretaker not the one being taken care of…I want my life back!
To not worry about the future or regret the past…you know…mindfulness, living
in the moment…that! And not to be obsessed with what is happening to me physically.
Peace! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I feel my family deserves that
from me. How do I get to that place? I haven’t figured that out yet. I am
always apologizing for being a burden. They assure me I’m not but I’m not
convinced. I may still be in denial that this is happening to me. I must find a
way to cope better with all this…Even this post sounds a little too much like my last post...but there it is...I'm stuck and desperately trying to find a way out of this dark mood.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ok…and so it goes…moving on now…wish me luck!</div>
Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-50058603455921016382019-01-20T14:13:00.000-05:002019-01-20T14:13:07.020-05:00Things to say<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="toc 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="footnote text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="index heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgycqIJa2WPuRBm4nfaYDvaY0wtZwUL-xNQ2vAOKAe0ZE0CgXsDo36o_Hs-qqcspeJdyiYRfOwus9wCa3tGKhyphenhyphen-nVgjwpO8ARwERWjmb50UFB2jBaln6gigPFyhxHrnaxttycPdO61Zdt_a/s1600/b-ehindbarsbw.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="675" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgycqIJa2WPuRBm4nfaYDvaY0wtZwUL-xNQ2vAOKAe0ZE0CgXsDo36o_Hs-qqcspeJdyiYRfOwus9wCa3tGKhyphenhyphen-nVgjwpO8ARwERWjmb50UFB2jBaln6gigPFyhxHrnaxttycPdO61Zdt_a/s400/b-ehindbarsbw.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Yes, I know…I was going to write something every day for a year.
but I have neglected it again. It's been several months I think. If I write an extra long post today will it
count?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Let me reintroduce myself again since it has been awhile. I
am a mother, a grandmother (of 5), a wife, a sibling, a friend, a homeowner, an
amateur photographer, poet, a bird watcher, an avid facebooker and tweeter, a retired
special education teacher and a cancer survivor who is now burdened with a
chronic illness called radiation enteritis. The radiation, that is supposed to
cure, did stop the cancer cells from multiplying but damaged my small intestine
beyond repair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After months of
intestinal distress, I got to the point of malnutrition because I was not absorbing
nutrients from food. So now nutrition is pumped into me while I sleep through a
PICC line that was positioned in my arm. I don’t know if this will be permanent
or not. Last week the PICC line was out of position and the formula went to
veins in my neck instead of directly to the large vein above my heart it is designed
to empty into. I’m not sure how it malfunctioned but the irritation of the veins
in my neck caused a blood clot to form and horrible pain in my throat, arm and
back. I can kind of understand how people get addicted to opioids. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They moved my PICC line to the other arm,
performed a CAT scan, prescribed blood thinners and pain pills and sent me
home. And so, I begin again. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I eat small
snacks throughout the day if I feel like it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My life is severely limited now due to this illness. It is difficult to
make plans or leave the house even. A huge amount of time is spent dealing with
pain, digestion issues and innumerable trips to the bathroom. Is it any wonder
that I don’t write or do much else? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
say all that to say this…the other day I was filled with an extreme feeling of tranquility.
There was no singing choir or shafts of sunlight beaming down on me but for one
minute (60 seconds) I felt well and at peace. I sat quietly and let that
feeling flow throughout my body. It was transforming. Then the rumbling inside
my stomach started again, the pain increased and I was back to dealing with
illness. But I have that moment and I think about it a lot…hoping to feel it
again. Sure, I have other moments, especially with family and friends and we
laugh and love and support each other which helps me not feel so useless. That
peaceful moment, though, is what I long for and work toward. Whether I have
pain or not I want to feel peaceful, serene and I want it for those I love as
well. One needs goals, I guess.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One other subject I have been thinking about is my need to
be liked and please people. I think it is a family trait passed down from generation
to generation. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I get older, I am
seeing more the importance of being myself. Yet, I still find it difficult to
disagree with people I care about. Except my sister…I have no trouble, as she
will attest to, disagreeing with her and stating my opinion. Maybe it’s the rebellious,
baby-sister syndrome. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I will confess
I still worry about not liking what other people like. I want to fit in and not
feel odd. On the other hand, being odd and unique is becoming more appealing to
me, which is probably good since I am alone most of the time during the day and
there is no one there to witness my quirky behaviors. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still, my sister jokingly chides me, often,
about not liking Jane Austen and opera. There are probably other things I don’t
like that she does enjoy (like Hallmark movies), however, those two stand out. So,
in a spirit of solidarity I spent a day watching the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Pride and Prejudice</i> series. It was the 1995 series with Colin Firth
as Mr. Darcy. If I was going to do this, I at least needed Colin Firth to get
me through. After binge-watching the entire season, I now know I have not
changed my opinion about Jane Austen. I mean, it was watchable but it just
seemed all about nothing. Finding husbands, either for love or prestige or
both, and following the strict requirements of a demanding society seemed to be
the theme. Maybe I’m missing something deeper but I couldn’t seem to care about
these people. And I think I’m okay with feeling that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Love you, sis! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then there was opera…nah…I didn’t even
try! <span style="font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji",sans-serif; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol-ext; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: "Segoe UI Emoji";">😊</span></div>
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I’m going to try and be around more…hopefully…and so it goes…</div>
Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-25727380567360882832018-11-11T20:43:00.002-05:002018-11-11T21:39:37.955-05:00Aunt Gwen<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjajB6alJhmKFeNwnrLaExhsMcwWWYQ3K4ecS1eLAePJ5MeZ_Ayad4Jw3pz1w6prk8s0069ZqZigrTPpd7J7NdTeUdD8-W6L3PVTs7B32yIVwZoVd1ZH4Vdb6DJsgr0MTPcEWdYDsGKpHQR/s1600/gwen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="790" data-original-width="1150" height="273" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjajB6alJhmKFeNwnrLaExhsMcwWWYQ3K4ecS1eLAePJ5MeZ_Ayad4Jw3pz1w6prk8s0069ZqZigrTPpd7J7NdTeUdD8-W6L3PVTs7B32yIVwZoVd1ZH4Vdb6DJsgr0MTPcEWdYDsGKpHQR/s400/gwen.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
This is my aunt, Margaret Gwendolyn Buchanan Ethridge. She is my mother's older sister. I have written a few stories about her on the blog because she is my favorite aunt. She lived close by when I was growing up so I saw her often. In many ways she was my second mother.<br />
<br />
She has been in a nursing home for 9 years suffering from Alzheimer's. I really lost her years ago because she had forgotten who I was. I visited her every time I went to Florida. The last few times I visited she had become almost unrecognizable and we all knew she wouldn't live much longer. We were told on Thursday of this week she would probably die in the next few days or even hours. She has forgotten how to swallow and weighs about 79lbs. My sister went to see her and said her breathing was very labored and expected her to pass away that day but so far she hasn't. Of course we are sad, but I also feel a sense of relief she won't be in distress anymore.<br />
<br />
The Aunt Gwen I knew was always cheerful, kind, beautiful with a gorgeous laugh which made me feel loved, accepted and happy. I'm sure there were other sides to her I didn't know about and, frankly, don't want to know because I want my memories of her to stay pristine, not sullied with tales of woe. Maybe that's selfish of me but she will be gone soon and I don't need to know the sorrowful, gloomy parts. Her illness and what it did to her has been enough. Parts of her childhood were bleak, but she escaped from her previous life. What I knew of her life seemed idyllic, and I want it to stay that way. I do remember the last time she recognized me before she went to the nursing home. She took my face in her hands, kissed me, and told me how beautiful I was and how much she loved me. Then she told me she couldn't remember my name but she knew who I was. I could tell from the look in her eyes that she did.<br />
<br />
Aunt Gwen was the one that introduced tuna noodle casserole to our family. She would often invite me over for dinner when she fixed it because she knew it was my favorite food. On one visit I put my face too close to the hot dish when it came out of the oven to get a good sniff of all its cheesiness, and burnt my lip on the dish. I remember her being concerned about me, not laughing at me, and treating the burn with aloe vera. Later, of course, it became a funny story about me and my love for tuna noodle casserole and I was teased about it but when it happened she cared for me lovingly.<br />
<br />
I only caught Aunt Gwen in one lie. I was staying with her for a few days when my mom was out of town. I was hungry and asked her for something to eat. She explained we didn't have time because we had to go pick up my sister from school, and I would have to eat later. Then she ran back inside to get her purse and keys. When she returned I noticed a strong scent of peanut butter. It made me even hungrier. I asked her why she smelled of peanut butter and she told me it was a new perfume. I believed her for a few years then realized she must have grabbed a spoonful of peanut butter, but didn't want me to know since she had just told me I had to wait. It was another incident that became part of our family funny stories, and I would often tease her about perfumes that smell like peanut butter.<br />
<br />
We joined a health club together and exercised several times a week. I told her about my first experience trying alcohol and she told me about trying margaritas for the first time. She loved it but was so embarrassed when she got home and looked into a mirror and she had salt on her nose which had probably been there all evening. I loved spending that time with her.<br />
<br />
Aunt Gwen's house was a safe refuge at various times in my life. It was there that I learned about John Kennedy's assassination. My mother and sister were there too and it felt comforting for all of us to be together. Another time I was walking to school past her house when a bully from my class crossed over to where I was to rub his hand between my legs. Several of his friends were watching and it was a great joke to them. With my heart pounding I ran into Aunt Gwen's house to get away from them. She listened as I told her about what happened and told me I had to tell my teacher when I got to school. Then she drove me the rest of the way to school in order to avoid them but I think they ran away when they saw me go into her house.<br />
<br />
Aunt Gwen's daughters were my role models as I grew up. They used to let
me hang out with them while they got ready for dates. And when the
dates brought them home I would sneak a peek of them out on the porch
that I could see from their living room window. Thus I learned about
kissing and making out from them too. Aunt Gwen's husband, Uncle Gene, was also
someone I loved dearly. He always seemed happy to see me when I came
over. He used to pull splinters out of my hands and when he removed it
he would then rub it into my hair because he said it wouldn't come back
if he did that. After he died and she found out she had Alzheimer's she would talk to him as if he were there and set a place for him at the dining table. They always seemed like a happy couple who really enjoyed each other. I don't know of any troubles they had, and I want that to
stay that way as well. Ignorance is bliss. <br />
<br />
We just got the news that Aunt Gwen is gone now. She died this afternoon. I'm sure there are more memories that will comfort me in this time of grief and sadness. And I will be comforted too by the fact that she is now at peace.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-92088597977599232582018-11-08T21:49:00.000-05:002018-11-08T21:49:41.910-05:00wasps<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="35" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
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<br />
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The wasps have found a way </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
inside the little yellow house.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I watch from the</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
safe haven of my blue chair,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
as they flit and skim </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
to and fro</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
across the wide expanse</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
of the ceiling.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Their droning buzz</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
filling the room as</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
they search…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes there is only</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
one lonely wasp, sometimes</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
four or five.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t know how they get in.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don't think they know either. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Did you know the pitch </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
of their buzzing noise</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
is based on the number of </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
wing beats per second? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Smaller wasps have more</div>
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wing beats so are high-pitched.</div>
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Larger wasps have less</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and, therefore, are low-pitched.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I often wonder what</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
they are searching for</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
as they travel back and forth.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Is it food, a mate, or escape?</div>
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They often pause in their journey</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Across the ceiling onto</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>one of the window
panes.</div>
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I imagine them looking outside </div>
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wondering why they can’t reach it </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and how did they end up in this trap</div>
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on the wrong side of the glass.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Strange thing is (or maybe not strange)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
they eventually start moving</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
slower and slower</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
making more stops </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
as they travel</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
until they drop</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and fall dead without </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
ever finding the desire </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
of their pursuit.</div>
Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-22750557873719198962018-11-06T22:23:00.000-05:002018-11-06T23:24:31.265-05:00Day #6 <br>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7P7X_axR_dfHFRBqLeraO9PJtSLeHcyoMjtUyfuN17tVTVogLGGVtrkj6XnxA0r8Z5i_k8Jk_B9zV-snvjvnJlvwijyQ9jecEK9So0WWmBm1MQrSoIqFHxlSC-UOGnwsaAY1s7Qf-TrU4/s1600/20181106_095920-01.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="879" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7P7X_axR_dfHFRBqLeraO9PJtSLeHcyoMjtUyfuN17tVTVogLGGVtrkj6XnxA0r8Z5i_k8Jk_B9zV-snvjvnJlvwijyQ9jecEK9So0WWmBm1MQrSoIqFHxlSC-UOGnwsaAY1s7Qf-TrU4/s640/20181106_095920-01.jpeg" width="350"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">"Life is like a frosted window" Photo by Rhonda Boocock</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br>
Today was voting day in the general election. As I mentioned I never received my mail-in absentee ballot so I had to try to vote this morning. I wasn't sure about my ability to stand in line so we took my walker to support me and hopefully make everyone pity me and let me move to the front of the line. As it turned out, we were the first ones to arrive so we were in first place. I went to sit in a chair while Paul saved my spot. At about 5 minutes before the polls opened I went back to the door. After standing for a few minutes I suddenly felt extremely woozy and things started to go black. I was sure I was going to pass out. My thought was at least I might be on the evening news in a story about an old sick woman who fainted while trying to vote. A nice human interest piece. Yes I think about those things when I'm in a crisis. There was a 87 year old woman in Texas who voted for the first time in her life today.. She was on oxygen and brought to the polls in an ambulance. They got special permission to bring the ballot to her in the ambulance. A few hours after she voted she died. It didn't say who she voted for. <br>
<br>
Finally the doors opened and I made it to a chair. There was some confusion about my ballot because I had ordered a mail-in one but when I explained it never arrived and I was told that I could vote normally they made me do some extra paperwork and sent me off to get my ballot and I voted.<br>
<br>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1W0bcNZYZSRgc5c6BHDYn9yirideTmPa8ZasIzjdkVBjjJ2123wqR_nCXn9YJJ1WWj7Yb3HJUVEj5Qe4XJGx5Psm1fYNveLMs0XP2FhpJDP0zRbEvYA-5xbgEpgHHlxLB3OiPat79sKaS/s1600/20181106_082735-01.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1400" data-original-width="1600" height="279" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1W0bcNZYZSRgc5c6BHDYn9yirideTmPa8ZasIzjdkVBjjJ2123wqR_nCXn9YJJ1WWj7Yb3HJUVEj5Qe4XJGx5Psm1fYNveLMs0XP2FhpJDP0zRbEvYA-5xbgEpgHHlxLB3OiPat79sKaS/s320/20181106_082735-01.jpeg" width="320"></a></div>
<br>
Also during the experience I had diarrhea and possibly soiled a few chairs at the polling place. I was mortified! But decided later I would just consider it my statement about how I feel about politicians and the government. But I voted.<br>
<br>
After voting and changing clothes I moved on to the next phase of my illness. Because I can't eat and my intestines are not absorbing nutrients I am becoming malnourished. I have been trying to lose weight for years and this is not the right way to do it. And it causes extreme fatigue and weakness. Hence the almost fainting at the polls. I went to the hospital today to have a PICC line put in so that each night my nutrition will drip into my bloodstream intravenously. My bag of nutrients and a pump are in a cool backpack that I can carry around and still be semi-mobile while it pumps me full of health and energy....I hope. The process of putting in the PICC line was, at least, interesting. They performed an ultrasound on my arm to find just the right vein to thread the line through to reach a spot right above my heart. While watching the ultrasound I turned to Paul and said, "Look it's a boy!" I realized the technicians probably hear that joke a lot and then felt foolish but I couldn't resist. The afternoon was busy with deliveries of formula and supplies. Then the home health nurse visited to show me how to use everything. Yes I'm overwhelmed but hoping for the best. Something that usually gets me in trouble.<br>
<br>
One last thought...do we have to call it a polling place? The word place seems so common. Maybe polling salon, polling studio, polling chambers, or maybe den of thieves...something other than a polling place...<br>
<br>
Oh, also yesterday I watched the movie Julie and Julia. It's about a woman who cooks and blogs her way through Julia Child's cookbook and ends up with a book and movie deal. I'm not expecting a book or a movie deal but it inspired me about writing in my blog more...and so it goes...Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-72174007738020832992018-11-05T16:17:00.000-05:002018-11-05T16:57:10.296-05:00Day #5<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5bdETCr1fln43mpdT93ejshoZM-IGQFoHQd7lW6VCCdJypgY3c7cyRT7qjg8Ye1yV0hZnivNLNNyQsPMPmTSraVA1sH_7GCnNxxYvQ-McaMHZjfo-Dyvqru6TR3yviRiNT26UePMu29NK/s1600/sadieblog.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" data-original-height="1317" data-original-width="1600" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5bdETCr1fln43mpdT93ejshoZM-IGQFoHQd7lW6VCCdJypgY3c7cyRT7qjg8Ye1yV0hZnivNLNNyQsPMPmTSraVA1sH_7GCnNxxYvQ-McaMHZjfo-Dyvqru6TR3yviRiNT26UePMu29NK/s320/sadieblog.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I can hardly believe I have kept the blog up for five days now. It doesn't match my personality to continue or finish projects. I am random and routines drive me crazy. I do know some discipline may be good for me...eating, exercise, meditation, housecleaning, writing, paying bills, breathing, etc. But, for some reason, I rebel against scheduling. I am usually late everywhere I go unless my more responsible husband is involved in the preparations. The house can be neglected for long periods of time, unless my more responsible husband is involved in the cleaning. My parents were proponents of routine and order even to the point of planning their breakfasts by days of the week. One week they had their Thursday waffles on Wednesday and kept thinking it was Wednesday the rest of the day. My father hated tardiness. He was the official clock watcher and timekeeper. And he took his job seriously much to the chagrin of the rest of us. My mother cleaned religiously whether it needed or not. She straightened each evening to make sure she woke up to tidiness. Okay, after writing that I may realize why I don't like routine. Maybe inside I am still rebelling against my parents. I never did it outwardly (model child you know) so it has to come out somewhere. Most of my rebellions are covert acts of mutiny and I try to appear cooperative and compliant to the general public.<br />
<br />
Today's schedule fell apart before it even started. I had two appointments that I had to cancel because I was too sick to go. I've rescheduled and hopefully will be able to make it next time. I really didn't cancel today because of rebellion. I actually could not leave the house. And I felt it was some inherent weakness in myself that I couldn't follow through. I guess that sounds like a contradiction to my schedule shunning. But you probably should know I am a mass of contradictions. I want to please people, appear reliable and consistent but my feelings don't always match my actions.<br />
<br />
My absentee ballot for voting that I ordered over a week ago did not arrive. I struggled to go to the mailbox and climb the stairs back into the house with the ballot still missing. So I will have to figure out a way to stand in line tomorrow for hours though I can't stand for longer than five minutes without reaching the point of exhaustion.<br />
<br />
Well I should stop now, the day has disappeared and I don't have any idea where it went. I have forgotten to eat so I guess I should try to now. And I don't want to complain...too much. Love to you all! And so it goes... Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-63176532267353845852018-11-04T10:57:00.000-05:002018-11-04T10:57:53.971-05:00Day #4<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj4ZH1iMf74xQBvGHZ4Vl_cKXNZ03ITy0ZdEBwD_XTk_PBsIbjEIVaPXxJAn43BHSOFQunv3kr7cCeoXyYMty9go4JTJobfDo5xcdYYQzQ2ZoQwEWyGBftKxuyYMNDMWNDqt__c5_-8nMb/s1600/lilypadstpa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1031" data-original-width="1600" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj4ZH1iMf74xQBvGHZ4Vl_cKXNZ03ITy0ZdEBwD_XTk_PBsIbjEIVaPXxJAn43BHSOFQunv3kr7cCeoXyYMty9go4JTJobfDo5xcdYYQzQ2ZoQwEWyGBftKxuyYMNDMWNDqt__c5_-8nMb/s400/lilypadstpa.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Sweet cherub </div>
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With sparkling eyes</div>
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Leads me to the light.</div>
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Soaring eagle </div>
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Lifts me on strong wings</div>
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To the healing place</div>
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Gentle waters of the sea </div>
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Carry me on buoyant waves </div>
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To safety</div>
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The wisdom of the ages</div>
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Support me </div>
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As I waver on the edge.</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The universe </div>
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Lays its treasures</div>
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At my feet.</div>
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What have I to fear?</div>
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Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-70686681638988312062018-11-03T20:45:00.000-04:002020-07-06T14:22:15.615-04:00Day #3 (swift, silent, deadly)<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj6NdhibeIqAU20-ZZHqwba_sOFaGAV1di3vPJlixRLXhQQsVT7ff_Cl-4OUhMOkodznxno-thrt5gBdyR_ecUtpXQf9XEEuqMz_nuGKHh_bZNfTOmyO8uyvIY9SYIbvmGKeyGcFFVxyGC/s1600/ramonwithflag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="641" data-original-width="960" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjj6NdhibeIqAU20-ZZHqwba_sOFaGAV1di3vPJlixRLXhQQsVT7ff_Cl-4OUhMOkodznxno-thrt5gBdyR_ecUtpXQf9XEEuqMz_nuGKHh_bZNfTOmyO8uyvIY9SYIbvmGKeyGcFFVxyGC/s400/ramonwithflag.jpg" width="400"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo by Wallace Rollins</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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We met him on the streets of downtown Chattanooga. I remember it was cold and windy that day. We were there to see a new mural that had been painted on one of the buildings by some famous artist with help from local artists.<br>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJr1F0FM8Izpgbzx1JsBDGKsXqdbADsjNcFU1h-bUxO0OjAONh2Q2fuifZcT86Jgn1-a82QBgDsCc2_bbPbzjeA-3MdVkTvKsFCQ7OR5cIBZD3xU6Wx_9DETyT1k_1i3EEFvRyyQb7fbO8/s1600/mural+for+blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1068" data-original-width="1600" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJr1F0FM8Izpgbzx1JsBDGKsXqdbADsjNcFU1h-bUxO0OjAONh2Q2fuifZcT86Jgn1-a82QBgDsCc2_bbPbzjeA-3MdVkTvKsFCQ7OR5cIBZD3xU6Wx_9DETyT1k_1i3EEFvRyyQb7fbO8/s400/mural+for+blog.jpg" width="400"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo by Rhonda Boocock<br><br></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
He was a homeless Vietnam war veteran, penniless but cheerful and sociable. He asked for some money to buy some V8 juice. A very specific drink so I'm thinking he had some vodka and wanted to make a bloody mary. He seemed to have had a few drinks already which may explain some of his animated friendliness. We had no money but he didn't hold that against us and stayed to talk to us for awhile. His name was Ramon. He had an engaging laugh and smile despite being mostly toothless. He said he was from Cuba and wanted to join the military to fight communism. When he was old enough he joined the Marines and served three tours of duty in Vietnam during the war. Ramon said he was a member of a special operations force known as the Marine Division Recon. He still proudly wore his jacket from then and stopped talking every once in awhile to point at the American flag sewn on it and say how much it meant to him. As we were talking Ramon's Russian friend showed up. He also told us about Ramon's military career, letting us know what a hero he was. We were already convinced. There was just something about him. Ramon's friend was a little more interested in what we had to offer them to feed their habit for the night. He explained that people often gave them food but they really needed money to buy things they wanted. Ramon seemed to want to talk more and he patted his pants pocket and told his friend that he had something for the night. Then it was time for them to hurry and leave so they could make it to the homeless shelter before they missed getting a bed for the night. Ramon continued to talk as we walked toward our car and we had a meaningful conversation about of all things, the old tv show about the talking horse, Mr. Ed. It's been over a year since I met Ramon but I still wonder about him. I hope he's warm, I hope he's safe.<br>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy208hOPICaF-cbE4oc7gpKxDzc0SsyZoN7lBqhAY1pFgzz2pvGYR8gSbcfkYiBkNWt4mzbnRepe2HxsD-VHYDjblluZWmRgn5qpXbMoukaWG7tj8CU6mFeYCmgbgiuH1EeYXATUWcLGd1/s1600/ramonforblog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="238" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy208hOPICaF-cbE4oc7gpKxDzc0SsyZoN7lBqhAY1pFgzz2pvGYR8gSbcfkYiBkNWt4mzbnRepe2HxsD-VHYDjblluZWmRgn5qpXbMoukaWG7tj8CU6mFeYCmgbgiuH1EeYXATUWcLGd1/s320/ramonforblog.jpg" width="320"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">photo by Wallace Rollins</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-60886636453433804702018-11-02T17:57:00.001-04:002018-11-02T19:28:39.941-04:00Day 2<br>
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Do we get sick days off for this writing everyday commitment? Days to sit in my chair and gaze out the window? Last night and this morning I have been inundated with prime examples of how difficult this illness adjustment is going to be. I think emotionally I am still fighting it, looking for a way around it. And physically I'm just exhausted. At some point I know I will need to embrace it and find my way through it. But not today. Today is lost and I don't think any of it can be redeemed. So let's leave the topic of illness for other days when I feel on more solid ground or maybe never as I'm sure most people don't want to read the ins and outs of my struggles.<br>
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So what's next? Politics? Religion? Nah...too much controversy can't be good on a day like today. Happy thoughts are what we need...but then again we could discuss movies. I've been watching quite a few on Amazon lately and there is really not much out there worth spending the time on. Where are the good movies? Recommendations are welcome. My favorite movie of all time is, <i>The Hours</i>, with Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman, and Julianne Moore. There are three distinct story lines that are cleverly and subtly tied together as the story unfolds. No its not a happy movie. I'm not sure I have a favorite happy movie. Oh yeah, there are the classics like <i>O Brother, Big Fish and Love Actually</i>. But for morose moods its <i>The Hours</i> for sure. The action in all three stories happen in the span of one day but in three different decades. They are tied together by the book, <i>Mrs. Dalloway</i>, by Virginia Woolf. But the connections between the three women in each story go deeper than literature, delving into such profound subjects such as friendship, loneliness, mental illness, suicide, etc. Its a movie that provokes feeling and thought not escapism purely for entertainment purposes. Of course I'm sure some would disagree (as a few movie critics did)and would say that the movie is too focused on female victimization and would complain about the nose prosthesis they put on Nicole Kidman to make her look more like Virginia Woolf. And I may even say the nose was distracting but for me the complex plot and moving performances more than made up for the bulbous nose. But I should stop...don't want to tell too much in case one day you find yourself in a morose mood and need to wallow in just the right movie to enhance your gloomy disposition. With a review like that I don't think I'll get a job as a movie critic but I might get my resume ready just in case. What kind of experience do you need to be a famous movie critic?<br>
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<br>Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-54943696667901466702018-11-01T18:21:00.001-04:002018-11-02T17:58:35.099-04:00NaNoWriMoI committed myself to write something everyday this month. I am not, though, writing 1500 words a day and aiming for the Great American Novel. I will write a poem or a blog post. I actually have a bit of a rebellious side that shuns routine and discipline but I will try. Today there is no poetry in me so it is a blog post.<br />
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I haven't left the house on my own for about two weeks. This morning I went for a short drive around the neighborhood to check on the fall foliage and to enjoy the crisp, autumn breeze. When I turned a corner toward home this chair was waiting for me to photograph it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZc88qi8vh69OTTKVvN65RzfVjddfZSJV0Zmd27QBk_Fg7rrxR2fQsFFtjRL71ach3oDlhIXgvXxnh4upG6Nfi2PNi-i0ZBAxvI0QRFwFVH8yBXDoU-S7_pEePyxrjqyYWIQ5x-nlU-NmM/s1600/20181101_101351-01.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZc88qi8vh69OTTKVvN65RzfVjddfZSJV0Zmd27QBk_Fg7rrxR2fQsFFtjRL71ach3oDlhIXgvXxnh4upG6Nfi2PNi-i0ZBAxvI0QRFwFVH8yBXDoU-S7_pEePyxrjqyYWIQ5x-nlU-NmM/s400/20181101_101351-01.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div>
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It could be a metaphor for my life. Either I am beyond repair and have been thrown out to be carried off as trash or I'm still pretty in pink and enjoying being outdoors. Take it as you will.<br />
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I had an appointment with the surgeon this week to discuss options for my gastrointestinal woes caused by radiation damage. It seems there are no options and I am faced with the arduous task of accepting and managing a chronic illness. My mind has been going at 10,000 mph since trying to grasp it all. Why do we always think we can fix everything? It is so disappointing when you find out something doesn't have a fix. Better to expect the worst always so we're not so discouraged with bad news? A wise man told me to take it one day at a time. Family has offered support in helping me manage...but still it is at times daunting to wrap my brain around it.<br />
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This was going to be much longer but I can't seem to remember where I was trying to go when I started and though I began writing this morning it is now evening and its starting to get dark and looks like more rain is on the way and being a pluviophile I shouldn't miss it. And its tea time though that seems to be turning into cookies and milk for me. Which isn't a bad thing either...<br />
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<br />Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-67955119874838507792018-10-19T12:17:00.000-04:002018-10-19T12:17:24.800-04:00HereWell, so much for writing in my blog regularly. Life gets busy, confusing and sometimes dark. I seem to be going through one of those dark periods now. The damage to my intestines from radiation is wreaking havoc. It causes pain, indigestion, vomiting, diarrhea and, the worst, obstructions that block up everything. Last week I was in the hospital with a small bowel obstruction and had to have an NG tube to drain the contents of my stomach out. I've heard they were horrible to insert (through your nose, past your sinuses, into your throat then down into your stomach) but was not prepared for just how horrible it was. And then just the uncomfortable feeling of it irritating your nose and throat constantly as a vacuum sucks out the gastric juices stuck in your stomach. And you watch it float past through a tube that empties into a receptacle installed somewhere behind my hospital bed. It is surreal to say the least. So we sat in the hospital waiting for the obstruction to clear on its own or to decide on surgery. It cleared and I have been home for a week, still on a liquid diet (and none of the liquids being vodka) and still throwing up everyday. Not sure what will happen next. But that's me...<br />
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Had some interesting experiences in the hospital, as you do. There were competent, kind nurses and then the incompetent kind that make you want to scream but you don't cause it would make the pain in your throat worse. Even crying hurt. So I was stalwart and brave (ha!) and kept my cool most of the time. You will have to talk to my family about the other times. I'm not confessing that part here. Being in the hospital also messes with your mind somehow. I wasn't dying (though sometimes I wished I was) but one day felt like I had an out-of-body experience. The transport engineer (bed pusher) was pushing my bed down the hall to go to imaging for an x-ray. The halls being narrow meant anyone walking in the halls had to press up against the sea-green walls for the bed to pass. They all smiled or waved at me in a friendly, compassionate way. Suddenly I felt I was at a parade and somehow my white hospital bed was the main float and people had gathered just to see me. So I waved my best parade-like wave and smiled benevolently back at my fans. If you have ever seen the movie, "Big Fish", it was like a scene in that movie when the main character is returning to the river from whence he came. But I didn't go anywhere exciting. I ended up in a holding room waiting for my turn for an x-ray. At one point it was no longer a comforting place to wait but rather a holding "cell" of sorts. There were people crying and throwing up. The 'sitter' in the room stayed busy tending to everyone while at the same time trying to explain to me and show pictures on her phone of the great bargains she got at Goodwill last weekend. One young girl was in agony and was trying to curl up in a wheel chair without much success. Finally they got her a stretcher but she kept getting out of it to offer it to other sick folks. I finally told her I was sure she hadn't taken the last stretcher in the hospital and just to lay down and go to sleep. Which she promptly did. I also told her I was sorry she was suffering and she told me not to be too nice or she would cry. So I said okay then put your big girl panties on and buck up and take it. She chuckled and said thanks buddy. I just wanted out. Somehow it brought up images of what I've heard about jail or purgatory or maybe even hell.<br />
<br />
But the day after I came home was sunny with a bright blue sky and a wonderful breeze that made my wind chimes sing. First signs of autumn...So enough of whining and to offset it I must always mention my gratefulness for the strength, patience and nurturing spirit of my husband Paul. And the love and concern of family and friends who will do whatever I need to make me feel better. Thank you and I love you more than words can say.<br />
<br />
Now back to jello...<br />
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Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-65274452770122499112018-03-25T14:04:00.001-04:002018-03-26T15:54:08.761-04:00a memoir about someone I love<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPu_ZSOFt51yJlBh79fwfMMS3s0NUu3ZZ5_8TEBilSZ9kkLThj0OrGqhoFfy32EwqzkVi7N1EzNf95MtyJBEJqqPDtSuia1EvksI3rbHFQQElyTbf8D1PXy9SXDZ6ar6T7dq5RxdKc20PJ/s1600/gwenandgwen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="960" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPu_ZSOFt51yJlBh79fwfMMS3s0NUu3ZZ5_8TEBilSZ9kkLThj0OrGqhoFfy32EwqzkVi7N1EzNf95MtyJBEJqqPDtSuia1EvksI3rbHFQQElyTbf8D1PXy9SXDZ6ar6T7dq5RxdKc20PJ/s320/gwenandgwen.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
By the time she was 13 she was a beauty, appearing older
than she was and having experienced much more of life than someone twice her
age. When she was in her 70’s she was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease and
was having difficulty with the common tasks of daily living, yet her long-term
memories were still intact and vivid. She spent an afternoon relating some of
the events of her life. A few were happy memories, though tinged with the
realities of a young life spent in abject poverty and paucity. Others were
tragic and horrible. It was a sign of her disease, I believe, that enabled her
to discuss both pleasant reminiscences and heartbreaking vile memories with the
same light-hearted tone. Remembering the past no longer brought her pain or
pleasure. She just seemed to need to unburden herself before she became unable
to recall anything and was lost to us as well as to herself.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwuOX3FCF68f_AvUGC7wHw0t5RQmcZpRBBEDPlw6HREcgdrSB6Yn9lkUppuKZV0xfo7A9oNnmFd7HmeqeMr6pPOd4KohW854hpwVzjLtNXPDjwIJGLd4Smsqw6eRwKwZunOpjF8SqRJTMl/s1600/gwenandbj.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="668" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwuOX3FCF68f_AvUGC7wHw0t5RQmcZpRBBEDPlw6HREcgdrSB6Yn9lkUppuKZV0xfo7A9oNnmFd7HmeqeMr6pPOd4KohW854hpwVzjLtNXPDjwIJGLd4Smsqw6eRwKwZunOpjF8SqRJTMl/s320/gwenandbj.jpg" width="220" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When she was 13 she worked as a waitress at a local diner in
Johnson City, Tennessee. Many of its patrons were truck drivers who stopped to
eat and rest and refuel before continuing their cross-country journeys. One of
the handsome diners was especially taken with the allure of the young waitress.
He often traveled that way on this truck route and would stop in whenever he
passed. They talked and flirted, and she was thrilled by his attention. He
eventually asked her to marry him and go with him to his home in Florida. She
readily agreed. He was 35 years old, handsome and most importantly, it was an
adventure that could take her away from the hardships of her life. I asked her
about the twenty-two year age difference and she just grinned sheepishly and
said, “Well, he thought I was actually 16.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Soon after they were married the two of them left her
old home in Cuba Landing, Tennessee, to travel to Florida. Her family stood by to see them off. My mother, years later,
wondered why the family wasn’t concerned that an older man was taking her away.
She only remembers feeling relief that her sister had an exciting chance to
escape from the misery of their life there in the hills of Tennessee. Most of
the rest of the brothers and sisters and their mother eventually fled to
Florida as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I often wonder what my
life would’ve been like if my mother had not followed my aunt.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Soon after moving to
Florida they had two daughters. Aunt Gwen tells of not being able to breastfeed
and my Uncle Gene sewing nipples from pieces of leather to attach to bottles to
feed the babies. They were married for over 50 years and to me always seemed
like a happy couple. After Uncle Gene died and Aunt Gwen began to become more
forgetful she would often talk to him as if he were there and set a place for
him at the breakfast table.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxxKhELu7Mj-GQPMqhzowlveak-MyekmjyEANfHkCFbB_tDDmV_OTI8od6MWGlJoaAIX0sMd_SFNHFhhe77ZzV6iNjpmb1Jiqqm3AhK3EAmAig4n_KHphIiuwciid5iXnOizMSr0yiCbE2/s1600/20180318_131335-01.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxxKhELu7Mj-GQPMqhzowlveak-MyekmjyEANfHkCFbB_tDDmV_OTI8od6MWGlJoaAIX0sMd_SFNHFhhe77ZzV6iNjpmb1Jiqqm3AhK3EAmAig4n_KHphIiuwciid5iXnOizMSr0yiCbE2/s320/20180318_131335-01.jpeg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
I saw Aunt Gwen recently. She is in a nursing home in
Florida. I helped feed her lunch, she has forgotten how to eat and must be
reminded to open her mouth, close her mouth and then to swallow. They say soon
she will probably forget how to even do those things. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She is mostly nonverbal though she does
attempt to talk but the jumbled mumbling resembles a sentence that cannot be
understood. She smiled a few times. And she looked at our faces with a troubled
look like she was trying to remember who we were.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> When I left her room </span>I kissed her and told her I love her. She uttered the one word I could understand, which was “yeah.” So
I will hold on to that and believe she knows I love her and am comforted that her 'yeah' was her way of saying she loves me too. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiavagQXATitJHcFjoWuMqG6fQkPowYGAD0qoKlXzqoOhyAVkXN1xcd6B5k3Ms8ouhEP_Q8tYLaq6lAGvscaCxedmmMcTh6K90K46nFsabR5XqeitCidu5IoChbvvmaBqSPzHekiOUz86ym/s1600/20180318_130508-01.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiavagQXATitJHcFjoWuMqG6fQkPowYGAD0qoKlXzqoOhyAVkXN1xcd6B5k3Ms8ouhEP_Q8tYLaq6lAGvscaCxedmmMcTh6K90K46nFsabR5XqeitCidu5IoChbvvmaBqSPzHekiOUz86ym/s320/20180318_130508-01.jpeg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
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I wish her peace.<br />
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Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-6471939325838371562018-03-04T10:52:00.001-05:002020-12-09T16:28:16.765-05:00my view from a secluded room<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Passing the time while</div>
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time is passing…I see</div>
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darkened windows like</div>
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vacant eyes revealing </div>
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the empty, hollow,</div>
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silent interior of the house.</div>
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Walking up the stairs</div>
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to enter the front door,</div>
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I find it standing ajar.</div>
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The moonlight shining </div>
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behind my shoulder</div>
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illuminates the dark hallway.</div>
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I walk through each room</div>
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searching for some signs</div>
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of life but only see </div>
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desolate, bare walls</div>
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and abandoned worn furniture</div>
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from someone's former life.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI00ih9NPwuspsJ3u1EE-2aMM6l9yXP1Sb1ZaAsXPLMR9tmtm71efJCs49uuMN3EEu-LMuUPGmRkBBTYnm7yzLBeeMjXUPo-NLI2-h-4givGZXAnxRuQEJZZNGz5BB9ie_cp170BZ-PDv9/s1600/20180303_183851-01.jpeg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1190" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI00ih9NPwuspsJ3u1EE-2aMM6l9yXP1Sb1ZaAsXPLMR9tmtm71efJCs49uuMN3EEu-LMuUPGmRkBBTYnm7yzLBeeMjXUPo-NLI2-h-4givGZXAnxRuQEJZZNGz5BB9ie_cp170BZ-PDv9/s320/20180303_183851-01.jpeg" width="236" /></a></td></tr>
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</tbody></table>
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I could fill the rooms with </div>
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my collections, turn it into</div>
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a suburban residence that </div>
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matches all the other houses.</div>
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Or I could run away to </div>
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a more joyful home with</div>
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things and noise and trivial pursuits.</div>
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But there is something about the</div>
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solitude and quiet beauty here. </div>
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I think I could be happy<u> </u></div>
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in this deserted place...</div>
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find peace...or at least feel safe.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Maybe bring in some flowers</div>
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And books, a photograph</div>
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In a frame…all it really needs.</div>
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All I need to pass the time.</div>
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Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-19571313210494252172018-01-02T19:30:00.001-05:002018-01-02T19:30:32.576-05:00keeping afloatOne of the downsides of a chronic illness is having a lot of free time to read, knit, work on my photography, etc., etc., but then not having the motivation, energy or focus to do anything. But this year since my health is improving I am challenging myself to read 12 books this year (Pike's Peak level). I have so many books in my to-be-read list so I hope to read more than 12 but thought I would start with a realistic number. I read about the challenge <a href="https://myreadersblock.blogspot.com/2017/10/mount-tbr-2018-sign-up.html?m=1">here</a>. Looking forward to improving my mental capacity for reading, writing, etc.Maybe you'll even see more blog posts...<br />
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<br />Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-40638764877281394102017-07-04T13:29:00.000-04:002017-07-04T20:56:53.101-04:00Mrs. Wiggs of the Cabbage Patch<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrwfWrNiwnL13UQOtysa-JWr_RaVqp-8eAltU1jKGZRRWtGTNZnuVogl8bDjR0P1MXRWXYA5Yeqq8yZ_XstjLg8O-FAFXN34AWAVQc2z_qdcKuVRKf3VmTZdZ6FprPtw5Xbrx0cKa6xYH1/s1600/creepers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1027" data-original-width="1600" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrwfWrNiwnL13UQOtysa-JWr_RaVqp-8eAltU1jKGZRRWtGTNZnuVogl8bDjR0P1MXRWXYA5Yeqq8yZ_XstjLg8O-FAFXN34AWAVQc2z_qdcKuVRKf3VmTZdZ6FprPtw5Xbrx0cKa6xYH1/s400/creepers.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">My favorite childhood book was Mrs. Wiggs of the Cabbage
Patch. I remember receiving it as a gift for Christmas, or maybe a birthday. It
was the first chapter book I read. The transition from children’s book to what
to me was almost a novel is a vivid memory.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Mrs. Wiggs was an impoverished widow who struggled to care for her
children and lived in an urban slum. In film adaptations of the book the husband
had left her alone to travel to Alaska to find gold. Still she handled the
circumstances with great strength and aplomb. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always liked that her daughters were named
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Poverty. As a child, I knew we didn't have extra money for luxuries. We had plenty of food and clothes and toys but somehow I felt our lack. Going out to eat or to a movie was a rare treat. My parents were both raised in disadvantaged rural areas. I knew they had very little when they were growing up and worked hard to make sure it wasn't that way for their children. When my sister and I got older my mother finished her high school education and went to work. My father took extra work when he could. Never rich, but we were comfortable. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was a public
school teacher I taught many children who came from poverty stricken areas much
worse than where I grew up and probably worse than the fictional neighborhood where
Mrs. Wiggs raised her children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of
the students I knew suffered hunger, wore ragged clothes and lived in old hotel
rooms transformed by the city into housing for the disadvantaged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The old hotels also sheltered ex-cons, drug
addicts and many other unsavory characters, making it an unsafe place for children
to play.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One student often complained
that her mother never let her play outdoors with the other children. After
school she was confined to the hotel room. The mother feared for her child’s
life. School was her escape. When everyone else were making Halloween plans
this child sobbed because she would be excluded from participating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One student was sexually assaulted there and
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ages. They either grew up fast or became troubled children with emotional and
behavioral issues. Brandon used to hear voices telling him to hurt other
people. He would climb trees or hit his own head to prevent the voices from
taking over. Matthew begged for food and to play games, any game. If he was
refused and asked to do school work he would often fight and scream and rage to
the point I often wanted to join him. Then he would fall asleep for hours, the
only peace he ever received. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His mother
said she would get a job and move her children out of the hotel as soon as God
gave her a car and found her a job. Angie lived with a demon in her head that
she could describe and draw. His words were vile and harmful, causing her to
act out and consider ending her life. William threw chairs and terrorized the
classroom when he was frustrated. Calling the authorities often enraged
parents, making them punish their children or, due to an overload on the
system, nothing was done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realize some
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Over 40 million Americans live in poverty. One out of seven
Americans suffer from hunger. More than 500,000 people in America are homeless,
a quarter of those are children.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am not offering solutions here or blame. I am just
troubled by the suffering. </span></div>
Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-48599391712063382472017-06-18T13:33:00.002-04:002017-06-18T13:35:40.133-04:00silence.. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I felt the silence today.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The deep, dark kind that</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Crushes any hope of getting free.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There are those random times</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>silence comes with</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Radiant light…the peaceful</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
brilliance that brings comfort.</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But sometimes silence
surrounds you like</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A glass chamber that isolates you</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
With only yourself to deal with</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No escape, no relief, no reprieve<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Often silence can descend upon you</div>
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While you are in a crowd. So can loneliness.</div>
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Silence can be evasive when you need it or </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Crowd you when you don’t want it at all.</div>
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Slippery silence…comes and goes…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Two-edged sword of dark or light…</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Comfort or nuisance…craved or scorned</div>
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Searching frantically for sweet repose</div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or other times we try
to avoid it</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Shutting out the silence with </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The noise of our distractions and cares.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Accept it as a gift in the somber void of night</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Or in the sunlit day. Let it whisper to you its secrets </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And welcome the refuge of its lack </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
when it cannot be found. Secrets can be</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
revealed there too.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<![endif]-->Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-48370161570236590712017-05-13T19:51:00.001-04:002017-05-13T20:02:59.018-04:00I knew<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUV3lDWK29hY0A4QvaSfevrKKxHBn2XEhhpKNJLOOJSMfAanJJvCRDrJ8ipdIlpCK-g1Tf-4eUzwxM0cUfmoJ-QHPcWGOroh8ENLThswT0lOiWyzHeKUNtNucPSZ1asUIqhc3iRlpMjgqg/s1600/20170508_093356.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUV3lDWK29hY0A4QvaSfevrKKxHBn2XEhhpKNJLOOJSMfAanJJvCRDrJ8ipdIlpCK-g1Tf-4eUzwxM0cUfmoJ-QHPcWGOroh8ENLThswT0lOiWyzHeKUNtNucPSZ1asUIqhc3iRlpMjgqg/s320/20170508_093356.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div dir="ltr">
I am selfish, weak and tired.<br />
I lash out at those I love,<br />
Instead of sitting quietly<br />
with what is<br />
And what will be. </div>
<div dir="ltr">
I plead for peace<br />
But instead wallow<br />
In anguish trying<br />
To undo what's already happened.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
I hunt for distraction<br />
But instead come full<br />
Circle back to the<br />
Point of pain.</div>
<div dir="ltr">
No escape, no relief...and <u>yet</u></div>
Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-19191241123766104112017-04-15T14:55:00.001-04:002017-04-15T14:59:27.867-04:00Yellow day<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnoxEdGWxd0EgHk5Gp7ckmXAN_FRAzCYOqKoIkx3wZlM-51Y1do-uLklx2FTMrNDPB9w1f8xjXs5RYYg4Q8-bXl0jt9ums-eN3gXKYAOu6mb8eIT4SpkKyzmSEuu-fTBAt0aSZi6EUtoR7/s1600/yellowleavesontree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnoxEdGWxd0EgHk5Gp7ckmXAN_FRAzCYOqKoIkx3wZlM-51Y1do-uLklx2FTMrNDPB9w1f8xjXs5RYYg4Q8-bXl0jt9ums-eN3gXKYAOu6mb8eIT4SpkKyzmSEuu-fTBAt0aSZi6EUtoR7/s640/yellowleavesontree.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
Today is a yellow day.<br />
I'm not sure why<br />
or even if it matters.<br />
I just know my mind<br />
is seeing yellow.<br />
Sometimes bright and cheerful,<br />
sometimes sad and dingy.<br />
It puts an odd filter on<br />
everything I think.<br />
Hoping tomorrow is a blue day...Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-79475486537639608092017-03-05T15:53:00.001-05:002017-03-05T15:53:28.505-05:00Bunny<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRHMXYglmTgHHWNwRsxEozaXl6fv7RWUNy0KXhkGfZGriYi1_zwlY0asiJ09adh07bviupnePSgCJpks4ZBmAZfmDHzM30lQ2nhEK1mnrrBLWR64KBXtwds98CwDUtAduaciWVkhwpVE1c/s1600/bunnyme.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="532" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRHMXYglmTgHHWNwRsxEozaXl6fv7RWUNy0KXhkGfZGriYi1_zwlY0asiJ09adh07bviupnePSgCJpks4ZBmAZfmDHzM30lQ2nhEK1mnrrBLWR64KBXtwds98CwDUtAduaciWVkhwpVE1c/s640/bunnyme.jpg" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr align="left"><td class="tr-caption">“Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved
off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very
shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real
you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”
―
<a class="authorOrTitle" href="https://www.blogger.com/null">Margery Williams</a>,
<span id="quote_book_link_144974">
<a class="authorOrTitle" href="https://www.blogger.com/null">The Velveteen Rabbit</a></span></td><td class="tr-caption"><span id="quote_book_link_144974"> </span></td><td class="tr-caption"><span id="quote_book_link_144974"> </span></td><td class="tr-caption"><span id="quote_book_link_144974"> </span></td><td class="tr-caption"><span id="quote_book_link_144974"> </span></td><td class="tr-caption"><span id="quote_book_link_144974"> </span></td><td class="tr-caption"><span id="quote_book_link_144974"> </span></td><td class="tr-caption"><span id="quote_book_link_144974"> </span></td><td class="tr-caption"><span id="quote_book_link_144974"> </span></td><td class="tr-caption"><span id="quote_book_link_144974"> </span></td><td class="tr-caption"><span id="quote_book_link_144974"> </span></td><td class="tr-caption"><span id="quote_book_link_144974"> </span></td><td class="tr-caption"><span id="quote_book_link_144974">
</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I relate to this bunny. We have some similarities. I saw him
in a thrift store and looked into his one good pink eye and knew we were
destined to be together. He is broken, tattered around the edges but still
looks appealing enough to be loved by someone. </div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This year hasn’t started out so well. The hope was that I
would return to work in February and keep moving toward a more normal life.
Unfortunately, I have been admitted twice into the hospital in January due to a
gastrointestinal ailment caused (probably...maybe) by the radiation I had last
summer for cancer. It took care of the cancer but left me with this condition
that will (probably…maybe) stay with me for the rest of my life. I won’t go
into ghastly details but I will say when I have a flare up (two to three times
per week) I am reminded of the movie, The Exorcist (including the split-pea
soup.) The attacks are random and harsh. So to return to work would be
difficult. Alas, I am here again wondering and worrying about my future.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Yes, I am angry, frustrated and fearful. But, at times, I am
also so grateful for the people in my life who still love me despite me being
broken and tattered. Every day I search for new ways to find peace with the way
things are and every once in a while, I find it. </div>
Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7420989403613470413.post-15825459612617280592016-10-29T18:31:00.000-04:002016-10-30T15:01:50.496-04:00Comfort, peace and gentlenessIt's been a rough summer. After knee surgery, the return of cancer, more chemo, radiation and extreme fatigue I feel drained and hopeless. The side effects from radiation have been baffling but mostly I feel a great deal of anxiety and I am emotionally overwhelmed by it all. I often find myself paralyzed and depressed, mentally and physically. The advice I receive is to sit with these emotions so I can calmly respond to the situation and not just react erratically. But sometimes its just too much and I feel the need to withdraw and find a safe place of comfort, peace and gentleness. The place I go most often for comfort is imagining an incident that occurred the summer before my mom died. I stayed at her house that summer to help and to be with her. She was weak and in severe pain. One afternoon she asked me to go to the store for her to purchase some ingredients for dinner. For some strange and inexplicable reason I got very ill at the store. Cold sweats, stomach cramps, nausea, dizziness were among the symptoms. I would run back and forth to the bathroom in between getting the items my mom needed. The staff at the store wanted to call an ambulance. Finally I agreed to call my family to come pick me up. I don't know how I looked but my mom gasped when she saw me so it couldn't have been good. She took me home, tucked me into bed and then fixed and spoon-fed me some chicken soup, as if I were a small child. It felt familiar and comforting but still I tried to get her to stop so she wouldn't exhaust herself. She said it felt good caring for me like she had when I was little and she wanted to continue. Without words, we both knew it would probably be the last time. She sat beside me on the bed putting cold cloths on my forehead until I fell asleep. When I woke up she was curled up at the bottom of the bed near my feet, sound asleep. I asked her why she hadn't gone to her own bed but she said she wanted to be close to me in case I woke up and needed her. Her hearing was not very good and she was afraid she wouldn't hear me if I called.<br>
<br>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_7nTsTowtuH-nsZZZJ63fNIKYqsYbgcfICFlzwmeZOtlcebe9-MJBcQYtPxdnfeOw10YlywLpYhyphenhyphenn_F3BBKEiFU1RFUxYGUoc__5o_G4MPNav0haBO8W8PA_lSSDV_79Syzcvd1b1V-MX/s1600/wethree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_7nTsTowtuH-nsZZZJ63fNIKYqsYbgcfICFlzwmeZOtlcebe9-MJBcQYtPxdnfeOw10YlywLpYhyphenhyphenn_F3BBKEiFU1RFUxYGUoc__5o_G4MPNav0haBO8W8PA_lSSDV_79Syzcvd1b1V-MX/s200/wethree.jpg" width="200"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Betty Jo Passmore <br> August 1935 - September 2014<br><br></td></tr>
</tbody></table>I am glad we had this experience together before she left us. My mother, like most mothers, had her faults but it is her gentle, loving care that I hold most in my heart. Well, that and the guilt for not cleaning my house as much as she would've wanted me too.<br>
<br>Rhonda Boocockhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11712755064454284161noreply@blogger.com0