What happens in the middle of the night on a Thursday when there is no rain

 

 

Darkness descends

 Thoughts flood

 The house creaks

Memories arise

Windows rattle

Voices whisper

Wind chimes peal

Fleeting hope surfaces

Shame and guilt

Crowd the mind

Like the streetlight

Illumines the room

Feelings flow

Like an avalanche

Of mud and muck

Blue pills of sleep

Take over soon

Dreams of  

Evil and beauty

Mingle together

To wake still tired

 Face it all again

And seek healing

For the many ills

That conquer and divide.

only serious inquiries need apply

I need a muse

How do you find a muse

Or do they find you? 

I have lovers and critics,

Editors and agents

But I need a muse.

Maybe I have a muse 

But he has chosen

To remain silent

Hidden somewhere

Waiting to inspire

When I am ready

Pen in hand

Fingers on keyboard

I await his arrival

Eager to begin

I start without him

But the words won’t come

I need the words that create

 a soul cleansing epiphany

Which only a muse can incite

I wait in the silent dusk

All is quiet and still

I need a muse

day by day

Life is a dark, dense forest

A formidable place we want to avoid

Still we tread on through it

Searching for bliss

Hoping for redemption.

Obstacles await us 

Storm clouds loom overhead

It feels like chaos

Maybe it is

Maybe it is just our own voices pleading 

The clouds sigh and release their burden.

The rain washes away regret

Lotus flowers bloom in the mud

Sun shines, birds sing, blue skies

We head home, renewed, refreshed

Humming a familiar tune.

Life is grand 

Tomorrow we enter the forest again.

An endless cycle of loss and love

flying

Like a clown being shot out of the cannon at the circus

Fighting the accelerating trajectory was worthless

She could only hope it would all end with a soft easy landing

mixed with a large measure of compassion and understanding

And the clicking of the knitting needles echoed in her ear

 The ticking of the clock made her know the time was near

And the snowman in her window rocked back and forth

In the warm sunlight while a storm brewed in the North

The ringmaster signaled with a nod for the drum roll to start

The crowd grew perfectly quiet, she felt their silence in her heart

 fireworks exploded with a loud blast and she rose towards the sky

Then as she soared above the tent, she knew at last what it was to fly

Landing in a broken jumble, totally missing the net meant to catch her

Trying to move brought pain and agony as her vision began to blur

Clutching the grass, feeling the earth spin as light and sound became one

Hearing screams that might be hers, just a fallen hero lying in the sun

She heard footsteps running toward her and voices calling her name

Unable to answer, unable to move she felt only peace, no guilt, no shame

The last thing she remembered was being lifted and carried away

And again, she felt as if she was flying, this time though a gentle sway

Now she never escapes, walking slowly, carefully one step at a time

Hoping to find another way to fly, searching for the perfect rhyme

That will match the beat of her heart and the rise and fall of her breath

And guide her footsteps to follow the way to find the perfect path.

And the clicking of the knitting needles echoed in her ear

 The ticking of the clock made her know the time was near

And the snowman in her window rocked back and forth

In the warm sunlight while a storm brewed in the North

the perfect day

The day held all I needed.

A crystal blue sky created the backdrop

For the flowers to flaunt their blooms.

I collected the warmth of the brilliant sun,

Letting it soak into my skin and soul.

The gentle breeze rustled through the leaves,

Whispering its wind song in my ears.

The chimes joined in the glorious chorus

Of songbirds, 

Creating a resplendent symphony.

And I thought, “This is it.”

Life has been mended and is whole again.

Certainly now I can find peace of mind.

I will prudently choose the proper path this time.

And the journey will be effortless and full of joy.

But suddenly one infinitesimal flicker of a thought

Slipped into view with a discordant and disagreeable plop.

I struggled to send it away as quickly as it came,

Maintaining my composure and idyllic ruminations.

It was already too late.

Soon an army of thoughts returned

To join the first one in the assault.

It was futile to try and stop them all.

And soon they overtook my mind,

Like a swarm of screaming banshees,

Destroying the short-lived peace I had enjoyed.

So I once again entered my cave of melancholy

Cue the woe and misery that blocks the sun

The onslaught continues.

Like an old movie I’ve seen before

The thoughts play over and over again.

I fear it will take more than a perfect day

To defeat the despair and anguish.

But still I search for escape from the pain

Something, in whatever form, to clear the fog and set me free.

Now I am waiting to be rescued from the relentless attacks,

Hoping my knight in shining armor appears soon.